


What she's scared of

by AniZH



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23361406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniZH/pseuds/AniZH
Summary: Beck finds out that Jade’s grandparents are splitting up, but that fact doesn’t allow her to behave shitty towards him. For some reason, she still does.
Relationships: Beck Oliver/Jade West
Kudos: 54





	What she's scared of

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone!  
> I hope you're all doing okay.  
> I'm finally back with another one shot. I got the idea for this due to a review by lilly on Each Other on ffnet, where she wanted Jade to struggle with something and reacting badly and Beck trying to help. I don't think this is exactly what you wanted, but I hope it's close enough. Thank you in any case for the suggestion!  
> Please, everyone, keep save and stay home if you can. :) You could rewatch Victorious or read some more fanfics. ;)

It wasn’t like Jade to be this snippy. Not to him anyway.  
He already noticed something on Sunday. They spent the best part of Saturday together but decided to take some time off during Sunday. They didn’t often do that when they didn’t fight but since their last break-up a year ago they had realized they should spend a bit more time apart.  
Beck enjoyed time with his parents but in the evening, he had to call Jade. Even when they spent days apart, they still texted or called or both.  
But Jade barely talked to him during that phone call. When Beck asked her how her day was, she just made a noise, which wasn’t too unusual. She sometimes didn’t talk about her day if she deemed nothing interesting to have happened. He also sometimes didn’t. This time around he talked a bit about what he and his parents talked about, how he enjoyed their time together and Jade just was... so unresponsive. That wasn’t normal. She always showed her happiness for Beck somehow when he was happy.  
But maybe she was just tired.  
Only that since then she had shown herself unnerved by him. He often picked her up from school and brought her back home afterwards (often also still spending time together then, instead of saying goodbye until next day), but on Monday she stayed in school to do a project, telling him they would see each other again in the morning, not even leaving room for him to suggest for one of them to come over later that day. On Tuesday she went home with Cat and when Beck called her later she actually asked him if he just wanted to waste her time or if there was actually a reason to call.  
“What’s wrong, Jade?” he checked confused because neither ever believed that their phone calls, them talking to each other, was a waste of time.  
“Nothing,” Jade said with an aggressive tone. “What’s wrong with you?”  
Beck opened his mouth to retaliate, but... it was normally of no use to try talking on the phone about anything serious, anything that changed their beheaviour in a way that only the other one truly noticed.  
That was why he let it slide and said: “Nothing. See you tomorrow.”

On Wednesday, Beck picked Jade up for school again and tried to talk to her like usual once more, but Jade wasn’t having any of it. She barely responded to anything and when he asked her pointedly if she wanted to talk about something she told him to not annoy her.  
He considered for a moment to demand an answer but decided to give her a little bit more time to come to him by herself.  
At school he started to get annoyed by her behaviour though. Because he started to notice that day that she was back to normal with everyone else. She also had been more irritated and snippy with them Monday and Tuesday but today she talked to them like always. Not to him though.  
He was sure to know why. Because he already noticed that something was up and it was annoying her. She hated as much as she loved how well he was able to read her.  
And though he was sure to know why, it irritated him like hell. He couldn’t stand her treating him worse than anybody else.  
They spent time together after school that day with their friends at Tori’s home like they often did. When it was time for dinner, they all left and Beck told Jade that he was going to take her home.  
He usually didn’t say so because obviously he would. He always took her home, except she was at some place with a car herself, which she barely ever was, because she didn’t have an own car.  
But today, he felt like he should say so, with how Jade was behaving. Not that she got the idea to take a ride with Andre who wouldn’t have to take as much of a detour as Beck to take her home.  
Jade actually rolled her eyes at him saying so but she did get into the car with him.  
It was enough for him. He was done.  
“What’s going on, Jade?” he asked as soon as the doors of the car were closed. “Come on, we tell each other everything.”  
They did. Like... Not always directly. But she at least could fess up that there was something going on. That was what they always did since they got back together. Be honest about there something going on.  
Jade looked at him grimly but not surprised. She had to know that he would ask again sooner or later.  
“My grandparents are getting a divorce.”  
“Oh,” Beck could only make.  
Jade aggressively continued: “Now what? Can almighty Beck suddenly make my grandparents love each other again?”  
How much he hated whenever he called him almighty or allknowing as if he ever implied the same.  
He still responded calmly because he knew he was just Jade’s outlet right now as she was so often for him. “I can’t.”  
“I know,” she answered viciously, but she didn’t otherwise search for a fight which he took as a good sign.  
“What happened?” he asked.  
Jade turned away from him and said with a rough voice: “Apparently, my grandmother met someone.”  
“Oh,” Beck only made.  
“Yeah,” Jade responded. “Neither said so but we’re sure she cheated on my grandfather.”  
Beck’s jaw dropped. Seriously?  
Beck met Jade’s grandparents. Of course he did. They were a couple (on and off) for more than three years now. He would’ve never in a million years have guessed for her grandmother to do something alike.  
“And that after she talked so much shit about Thomas,” Jade added, sounding disgusted.  
Yeah, that was one of the reasons Beck couldn’t imagine. Thomas was the father of Jasper, Jade’s little half brother. Jade confided into Beck early on in their relationship that she hated Thomas because he had cheated on her mother while she was pregnant with her brother. Her mother had walked in on him with another woman in their bed – and Jade had come home only shortly after when the other woman had just been out of the hosue and with her nine years of age had to witness her very pregnant mother screaming at Thomas, throwing him out and then breaking down and crying.  
Beck knew that Jade’s mother told her parents about what exactly happened eventually and that especially her mother, Jade’s grandmother never let it go since then. Even when Beck was visiting at the same time as Jade’s grandparents and they were eating dinner together, it happened that her grandmother said that she was glad that Jade obviously had better taste in men than her own daughter – who first married an ice cold asshole and then had a second child with a cheating idiot out of wedlock. Beck knew that Jade agreed with her grandmother about her mother’s taste in men being awful. Beck agreed too as he hated both Jade’s father and Jasper’s. Jade’s grandmother of course was right in her judgement over those men – but it never had been her place to judge, he guessed.  
And now this. This of course made her a total hypocrite if it was true.  
“How’s your grandpa?” Beck asked after a moment.  
Jade’s mother’s father never talked too much but was also always nice to Jade – and Beck always felt like he had treated Jade right which made Beck like him.  
“My mom’s with him a whole lot,” Jade said. “She’s using up her overtime right now, barely goes to work and makes Thomas take care of Jasper this week.”  
“I’m sorry,” Beck earnestly said.  
He didn’t know what else to say. There was nothing else to say.  
His look dropped down to his hands. He wondered how he could make it better for Jade.  
Only after a moment, she raised her voice again: “You know what’s the worst?”  
He looked up to her again, but she didn’t return the look. Instead she kept her gaze out of the front window as she continued: “Through my whole childhood, I only had one couple where I believed that they loved each other. That made me think sometimes that love may exist. But obviously it was all a lie.”  
Beck felt sick to his stomach. “I’m sure it wasn’t.”  
He couldn’t let her believe that. He could imagine very well that little Jade only somewhat believed in true love because of her grandparents. Romantic love at least. With the divorce of her parents, the further failed relationships of her mother, her father’s parents treating each other like they did... It broke his heart that the child in her now lost any kind of belief in that.  
No, it couldn’t be true. Her grandparents had loved each other at one point, he was sure.  
Jade sounded disgusted again as she said: “Of course, because you’re allknowing.”  
He knew she was hurt and that was why she was lashing out. That was how she acted.  
That was why he didn’t retaliate with mean words once more. “Stop, please?” he instead made and finally Jade looked at him again.  
For a moment, it was just anger in her eyes, then an almost defeated look before she turned away. She knew herself that she wasn’t really angry with him.  
“Did you talk to your mom about all this?” he finally asked.  
Because her mother would always confirm her parents’ love, right? Because they had to have been in love at some point, when Jade had still been young. Jade wouldn’t have believed anything else otherwise. She always had a good intuition about feelings.  
“No,” Jade said with a small voice and Beck decided: “Let’s talk to her.”

They drove to her home and found Ms. Anderson, Jade’s mother; preparing dinner in the kitchen.  
They greeted each other before Ms. Anderson said: “Thomas should drop Jasper off any minute now. Will you stay for dinner too?”  
That question of course went to Beck who didn’t get around to answer as Jade was quick to tell her mother instead: “I told Beck about what’s going on.”  
Jade of course didn’t let her mother believe for even a second that they should pretend in front of Beck that everything was alright.  
“I’m sorry,” Beck said and wasn’t sure himself if he was apologizing for knowing, as if Jade shouldn’t have told him another... family secret or alike, or if he was apologizing for the situation in general, for the cheating, though that wasn’t his fault at all.  
“It’s okay,” Ms. Anderson responded and probably meant both things Beck could’ve possibly apologized for. “We’re okay.”  
“How’s Grandpa?” Jade checked.  
Ms. Anderson answered: “I wasn’t with him today. I was with your grandma.”  
Beck saw Jade’s face fall, suddenly looking at her mother deadly. “Seriously?”  
“Yes,” Ms. Anderson said, calmly, not intimidated of her own daughter as one of the very few people who never had been, just like Beck.  
“After what she did?”  
Ms. Anderson easily responded: “She’s still my mother, you know.”  
She said it almost casually, but she held Jade’s gaze at that and as Beck saw the look in her eyes, he got reminded from where Jade got all her strength.  
Beck was the one to break the moment of silently trying to stare each other down between mother and daughter, asking Ms. Anderson: “Did she tell you why she did it?”  
Ms. Anderson let her eyes linger on Jade for another moment before she turned to Beck. “Are there ever really good reasons?”  
“There aren’t,” Jade said dangerously.  
Well, obviously there weren’t. “But like...” he said. “Did she... ever love your father?” Those were Jade’s concerns, right? That she saw a love that was never there? That she couldn’t trust her own feelings? That the child she once had been had longed for something that never had been there.  
“Oh, she did,” Ms. Anderson said without hesitation. “They loved each other so much when I was a child. And well into my adulthood. I always wished to have what they had. But... I guess my father never put too much work into it. I never thought about it until my mother told me how it was today. How she was the one always making sure they talked and spent time. How she always took care of him but he didn’t really take care of her. She always put him first while she was... a given for him. She finally did something for herself and took a dancing class alone because my father didn’t want to go and she met Paul there. He appreciated her, made her laugh, made her feel special... I get it.”  
Beck noticed how Jade’s face hardened more and more when her mother talked. Now, she spat out: “Great!”  
Ms. Anderson still stayed calm, turning back to her daughter: “I told her that it’s unfair to Grandpa to not make a clear cut. Because she didn’t. She confessed to have cheated on him. But she knows she went wrong about it. I will never tell Grandpa to get back together with her after what she did, even if she wanted to. Though honestly, she doesn’t. She seems to be happy. As if she has been freed of something. Which is awful in a way but... she is my mother. She is your grandmother.”  
Jade looked at Ms. Anderson in disgust. “Do whatever you want. I won’t see her again. I’ll go visit my grandfather now and have dinner with him, so he doesn’t have to spend the whole day alone.” She turned to Beck: “You can go home.”  
He thought they’d still spend some more time together but she obviously wasn’t in the mood. She wanted to see her grandfather and he didn’t want to ask if he could go eat dinner with her and him.  
“Should I take you?” he still asked.  
But Jade was already leaving. “No.”

Jade wasn’t in a better mood at all the next day. Beck decided to leave her alone at school mostly.  
After school he drove her home and only asked, when he had stopped the car in front of her house: “Wanna go to our theater later?”  
“No,” she just said.  
“What else do you wanna do?” he checked.  
“I wanna be alone.”  
No. “It’s date night,” he said. And date night was a big deal for them.  
They made it Thursday because on the weekend there were so many other things going on, also from school, while there was no concert, event or birthday party on Thursday evenings, so no actual reason to cancel date night.  
Since their last break up, they established this day to spend time alone together, no matter what other crazyness was going on.  
They barely ever not did something that evening since they decided on it to be date night. Only when one of them was too sick – though sometimes, they spent time together then anyway, cuddling in front of the TV, hoping to not infect each other, but still not able to let go of each other.  
Jade shrugged. “Don’t feel like it.”  
“What do you mean?” Beck asked. What did this mean for them as a couple? What was wrong with Jade?  
And it was fine if she would tell him that her grandfather needed her and if that would’ve been why they couldn’t spent time. But she wasn’t saying that, was she?  
Jade rolled her eyes. “You do understand English, right?”  
He couldn’t do this. They couldn’t do this. “Okay, Jade. We have to talk about this.”  
“We don’t have to talk about anything,” Jade claimed though and with that, she left the car, slamming the door shut behind her so hard that Beck was scared for his car window to break.  
No, he couldn’t leave it like this. They promised each other to not behave like this anymore, to talk instead, to let each other know what’s wrong. Even if he wasn’t able to fix whatever was going on right now, he needed to know. They both knew there was danger if one of them behaved differently and didn’t let the other one know why. Because it was easy for the other one to take it personally, to feel rejected and not loved anymore. And if that was the case, a big fight between them was a given.  
He parked the car in the closest free spot and then hurried back to the house. He didn’t ring the door bell or knock; he just went straight in.  
Surprisingly, Ms. Anderson was home, in the living room. Beck only shortly told her “Sorry for bursting in”, before he hurried past her to Jade’s bedroom, before Ms. Anderson could say anything.  
Jade obviously expected him to come after her but she didn’t appreciate it. She sat on her bed with her laptop and now glared at Beck: “Leave.”  
“No,” Beck said, shutting her bedroom door behind him. “I want to talk about this.”  
“About what?” Jade asked aggressively.  
She couldn’t be serious. “About what’s going on with you!”  
Jade put her laptop on the bed next to her. “I told you: My grandparents are splitting up!”  
“So?” he asked with a raised voice. “That’s no reason to behave shitty towards me!”  
Jade stood up, readying herself for a big fight. “Don’t you get it, Beck? My grandparents split up! They will get a divorce. The only romantic relationship in my fucking life that ever worked is breaking apart! My grandma, who supposedly loved my grandpa beyond anything, cheated on him!”  
Wait.  
With a quiet voice, Beck said: “You don’t think I’ll cheat on you.”  
Jade didn’t respond. She just looked at him.  
She couldn’t be serious! “We’ve been through this! You know I never would!”  
While his volume promptly rised up again, it was now her turn to speak more quiet, but in a cutting way all the same: “If you would’ve told my grandma five years ago that she would do this, she would’ve said the same.”  
They couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t do this again.  
“I can’t believe this,” he said and just left. He couldn’t fight this fight.

They had been through this time and time again. She had always been jealous of other girls and it had angered him more than anything because that had meant that she didn’t trust him, right?  
She hadn’t trusted him at first. He had learned why, with all the failed relationships she had witnessed in her life, with her general distrust of everything good, with doubting herself so much.  
But she had learned to trust him. That had never squashed her jealousy because she also didn’t like anyone touching him but her, even if it wouldn’t result in sex or even kissing or anything.  
Whenever her jealousy had gotten overboard and they had fought about it, she had promised him she wasn’t jealous because she didn’t trust him. She also did know him better than that, didn’t she?  
He was pissed. He knew her trouble with trusting people. With trusting that anything good was gonna happen to her. But he couldn’t live with always being doubted.  
He sat down in front of the TV in the RV, but didn’t actually watch the program he turned on. He was way too angry for that.  
At some point, he heard someone trying to open the door to the RV but he had locked it.  
He immediately knew it was Jade. Because only Jade ever tried to come inside without knocking.  
“It’s me. Let me in,” she yelled through the door a moment later.  
For a second he considered leaving her outside, not letting her in. But, well, they both also promised each other to not make a fight worse if they could help it. And he knew it would make it worse to not let her in. Especially as he heard in her voice that she wasn’t here to scream at him or anything.  
He took a deep breath, before he got up and opened the door.  
Jade walked past him and he closed the door and was about to aggressively ask her what she was doing here, because he couldn’t help that, but Jade spoke first, quietly.  
“I’m scared, Beck.”  
She stopped in the middle of the RV and turned back around to him. She held herself and looked at him in that broken way that he hated so much, that took his breath away.  
He stepped closer. “What are you scared of?”  
As much as his heart broke for Jade when he saw her like this... if she was scared of him cheating, he couldn’t deal with it.  
“I don’t want to loose you,” Jade said softly. “But I know nothing about relationships. Not one relationship in my family actually works. I don’t know how to do this.” She made a gesture between the two of them before holding herself again.  
So that was what she was scared of? That she wasn’t able to be part of a working couple because nobody set her a good example?  
He took the last distance between them. “What do you mean? You’ve been doing this for years.”  
“And I’ve broken it apart times and times again.”  
“You haven’t,” Beck said, because she made it sound as if she had been a fault when they had broken up. Which she never had been solely. They always both had had a part in it. Yes, sometimes one of them had had a bigger part, but it wasn’t like only one of them was to blame. Not to mention... “But we’re teens. What do you expect? It’s not your fault, Jade.”  
He saw, how she gripped herself even tighter and... there was no need for that. She didn’t need to hold herself. He was there for that, always.  
That’s why he promptly pulled her into his arms and she didn’t hesitate to loose the grip on herself to hug him back instead.  
For a while it was just that before Beck had to ask quietly: “You don’t believe I would ever cheat, do you?”  
Jade gently pulled away from him far enough that they could look each other into their eyes. “I know you never would. You would never purposely hurt me. But... what if I do?”  
Was she scared that she could ever cheat?  
“You know that cheating is a choice, right?” he checked. “Your grandma can say whatever. Maybe she has her reasons. But cheating still is always a choice. A choice you would never make, just like me.”  
He knew that. If they wanted to be with someone else or fell out of love, they would break up before. They obviously had proven that they could and would break up for less.  
“I love you, Beck,” Jade whispered.  
“I love you too,” Beck honestly said, then: “And I can’t promise that that’s forever. But I do promise to always treat you with decency and to work on this relationship as long as you’ll have me.” Which included to never cheat on her.  
“I can’t imagine to ever not want to have you,” Jade said.  
They shared a kiss before she continued: “I promise to come to you sooner when... stuff like this is on my mind.”  
He appreciated that promise though they both already made that several times. But they also both weren’t the kind of people to talk about what was troubling them straight away.  
He kissed her again and then noticed: “I think we’re doing pretty good at the moment.”  
They did do pretty good and he enjoyed it so much. They actually did pretty good for some months now. As strong as they were right now, it was easy to work it out, even if one of them misstepped, if one of them didn’t talk about a problem right away or alike.  
“We are,” Jade agreed. “Which makes me so scared that it’ll just fall apart.” Because she always thought she didn’t deserve as good. That she didn’t deserve a happy relationship, that she didn’t deserve comfort and love.  
He pulled her into another hug as he said: “I just hope we’ll lie in some king sized bed in a luxurious retirement home in eighty years, spooning, and I can ask you if you finally don’t feel scared.”  
“Oh, by then I’ll be scared of you dying,” Jade claimed, obviously teasing.  
They broke apart again just far enough to look at each other, as Jade continued: “You know that statistically you’ll die before me, right?”  
“I know,” Beck said with a smirk.  
Jade put one of her hands on his cheek, looking deep into his eyes.  
“But don’t you dare leave me alone.”  
He wished he never would. He wished they could stay together forever, even after death.  
With a smile, he kissed her again.


End file.
